"Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world" - Maria Montessori

Today I'm going to take a break from philosophical ramblings, and tell my story with photos. I am hoping they speak for themselves, as they epitomise (to me) what life (and love, for that matter) are all about. I should mention that as I am based in Taupo, the following pictures are not a regular occurrence which made today all the more magical. I should also mention that the photos were snapped via iPhone, so excuse the quality! So much for letting the photos speak... Enjoy...

Humpday High 5

I thought that it was about time I started actually making an effort on this "blog-thing", after much hassling from my friend Renee over at "Memoirs of a Mother". Her blog is simply amazing, and I can't believe how much time and effort she spends on it. Now that I am facebook-free, and have moved the computer back downstairs into the warmth, I really have no excuse. From now on, each Wednesday I will be sharing my "High 5's" of the week. They will be in the form of:

1.  "Thumbs Up For..." (obviously for my favourite things) 
2. "Face-palms for..." (for the "what were you thinking??' award) 
3. "Top Tips" (exciting new things/blogs I have discovered).

Since I've lost my blo-jo (Renee's delightful name for "Blog Mojo") of late, this week's "Top 5's" will more than likely span that of the past month... but I will endeavour to keep it concise! Here goes....

A bit of a blog...

My dear blog, I have done it again. I am guilty of serious neglect, and for that I am sorry. It has been a bit of a muddly sort of month for me. Just when you think you're getting back on track, life tends to throw another spanner in the works. It's all part of the parcel, and certainly keeps you on your toes! As a result of certain gossip-mongers and pot-stirrers, I have made the decision to remove myself from the drama.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all” - Oscar Wilde

Today I have had yet another mortality check. I love skydiving: the people, the thrill, the sport... but I hate the fact that it has claimed yet another life. One of the main reasons I have decided to give it up, is not my safety. It is not for my son. It is because I felt myself becoming immune to mourning. The reality is, if you are a skydiver, your friends will die. But it is also an industry (and lifestyle) which enables people to put up walls. I don't want to be a person who just shrugs, has a beer and then accepts that yet another comrade has fallen. I want to be able to feel sadness and rejoice that we were able to share memories and moments together during our short time on this earth. The attitude among most is one of acceptance. I never want to become complacent with life, and certainly never want to stop living... I choose to feel emotion, and not to block it out behind a front fuelled with bravado. 

A derby sort of a day...

I'm hoping this works... Please see below links to our awesome Roller Derby Article in the Taupo Times!

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Taupo Times
10 Jun 2011

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Taupo Times
10 Jun 2011

What's in a name...

Starting off on my Dating Quest (see previous post for all the details), and having been kindly directed to a "really good site" from a former colleague I was stuck. What on earth would I call myself? Initially I mulled over the use of "skymum", but thought (in the interests of the experiment) the sheer name "mum" might hamper me from carrying out my investigation fully. I then considered my derby name, but visualised being shunned from the site with a pen-name such as Betzilla. Finally I settled on: skydancer. I believe it makes me sound goddess-like (as I most certainly am) and gives me an air of mystique. That name was taken. My supreme intellect however, prevailed. I tacked an "nz" to the end, and now I am off on my journey!

Guess who's back, back again...

Okay, so again it has been a while since my last post.. but tardiness is now a thing of the past! I am feeling totally proud of my tech-savviness at the moment, as I have finally cottoned on to the fact that I am able to use my iPhone as a modem. I know, apparently it is common knowledge... but I am proud nonetheless! As promised, please find below a couple of photos of my sweet new 'digs'. I think it is pretty darned choice, really!

From this deck I have the sweetest view of snowy mountains. (That's right, I have TWO decks!)

A brief hello...

I am still alive - hoorah! The move is complete and I couldn't be happier! It is a little strange updating this via my phone, but I shall strive to stay on top of it.. I am still trying to find my way around everything, and I am sure the transition won't happen overnight, but good things take time. I am talking about my life now, however the updating via iPhone thing is still relevant here! I am trying to work out how to upload images, and when I discover this amazing technology I will share my journey with you all in glorious technicolour... But for now I am afraid you will have to make do with my stilted desriptions instead...

The house is just beautiful. I am so glad I made the decision to budget a bit harder so I can afford somewhere nice! I cannot think of anything worse than coming home to a derelict hovel at the end of the day; and settling into a 'poor me, fml pity- fest'! I have inherited a cat through the move too, which is fab most of the time. I only say 'most' as we are still trying to find our way around the hierarchy system here. I currently look like a failed-suicide victim due to the deep gouges on my wrists... But I am sure (unlike my scars) this clash of personalities cannot be long-lived!

Anyway, that is all the touch-screen action I have time for this evening.. I shall attempt more soon!

Over & Out.

Over, but not Out...

This will be my last post for a wee while, until we're all settled in the new place. Have managed to wangle moving a couple of days earlier than previously planned, so am rather excited about that to say the least! I cannot wait to get out of this house, for reasons that should be obvious (without going into explicit details or lists).

A quick update...

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today” - William Allen White

Following on from my mammoth post (you can thank Renee for that!), I thought a brief update was in order. I'm doing great! Most of my things are now packed, and I'm on 'countdown to new house' mode (1 week to go!). Initially I was very sad, yes; and I'm sure those moments of angst will continue for quite some time. The main reason for my sadness, I have found was guilt.

The longest post in the history of blogging... My bad...

I am thrilled (and honoured) to have been nominated for this award by Renee @ Butterfly Kisses & Fairy Wishes.  I'm a tad overwhelmed by this, so will try and keep it brief and minimise rambling where possible!  Renee is an amazing photographer, and has two of the most delightful girls you could ever hope to meet. Her blog is inspiring and filled with mummy moments and magic, so please take the time to go and have a read through. One of my absolute favourite posts of hers is entitled "The week of the vexatious vagina", and I think I will leave the rest to your imagination... It is well worth a read though and I highly recommend having a look!

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” - Robert McCloskey

The quality is a bit shocking, but unfortunately one of the only pictures we snapped!

I was going to update my blog last night, but I didn't get back from The Mount until relatively late and a long hot soak in the tub was more of a priority at the time! I seriously feel like I am about 80. Not a single part of my body isn't sore, but it is a good pain. A happy pain. I realise I'm starting to sound a little masochistic right now, but I don't care!

Mother's Day

Today bears mixed emotions for me. I am struggling with shared custody. On one hand I love having "time out", on the other I spend the majority of this "time out" missing my darling wee man like crazy. Today is Mother's Day in New Zealand, and I don't even get to cuddle him & tell him how much I love him.

Change is in the air...

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” 

- Maria Robinson

Due to my recent change in circumstance, I figure it's time to give this blog a shake-up. This will still follow me on my quest for happiness (hey, I'm getting there!) but it will also become somewhat of a 'how-to guide' for Solo Mums. I'm not promising everything in here will be upbeat and joyous, as we all have bad days, but I will strive to turn everything into a positive (as I am currently attempting in my life also).

"Justice that love gives is a surrender, justice that law gives is a punishment." - Gandhi

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr.

My whole facebook world has been bombarded with celebration of Osama Bin Laden's death. While I do find all the Osama/Obama mix-ups amusing, I do find myself wondering about the state of the world today. We are living in a world where it is justifiable to kill thousands of human beings, and label it "justice" and "retribution".

Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair. Beneath the stains of time, The feelings disappear.

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real"

If I had listened to this only a week ago, it would have rendered me a mess. I have always found it deeply moving, but for some strange reason this cover of NIN's "hurt" is my inspiration for the day. No matter the relationship between his father and I, I will not let it affect my son. He will always grow up knowing that both his mummy & daddy love him to pieces. 

“Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

As I'm relatively 'new' to this blogging world, I'm not too familiar with things such as "linking", but I am going to give it a shot! I am linking up to Maxabella loves with (hopefully) a slightly more positive blog than my life-update yesterday!

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.” -  Roseanne Cash

So it has been a while since my last post, and a great deal has changed. Change is not always for the worst, in fact (in most cases) change is necessary. It has taken me many boxes of tissues over the past few days, but now I am philosophical. The story behind my tears is not overly long, it is not overly interesting either. I think shock has played a large part in my sadness. Shock that a relationship that I thought would last forever, is no longer feasible.

"You call it madness, but I call it love." - Don Byas

THINGS I'M LOVING (right now):

This seems to be the "in thing" to do at the moment, so I will pop on my fleecy jacket & bleat along in-line with the rest of you. Below is a list (of sorts) of just a few of the many things I am loving right now. I will have left some off the list, some will be higher-ranked than they probably need to be... but I'm in the middle of watching a rather riveting game of basketball (well pretending not to be watching, as I "prove" to my beloved that sport is dull... don't tell him I used the words 'riveting' and 'basketball' in the same sentence, or my point is null)... Come on Breakers!

The grass is always greener...

During my pursuit of happiness I have placed a large emphasis on career. I have spent many days going over the "what ifs" and venting frustration at the lack of opportunity for employment in my town. I have, in the process, forgotten all the negative parts about a media career, and have put it up on a pedestal. Typical. During the last week I have been remembering. I actually hated working in the industry, which is why I left Auckland to come to Taupo. I loathed the egos, fake people and the way all interns/assistants are treated as glorified slaves (in some cases they don't even glorify it- you are their bitch).

Domestic Misadventure

After having a bit of success with my breadmaking effort (I'm not talking 'breadmaker-cheating' either) I figured I should get in the Easter Spirit and bake some Hot Cross Buns. This is despite the fact I still find it a strange 'celebration' to eat bread emblazoned with a sacrificial symbol, but whatever.

Weddings, Wiggles & Weekends...

When I was a small girl, I always dreamed of a big, white, fairytale wedding. I wanted to live in a castle, complete with secret passageways, a moat and a dungeon. It's funny how things change. Don't get me wrong, one day I still want to get married and have my own home, but I'm happy to compromise: Now I would love a small ceremony on the beach in a tropical island somewhere, with bare feet and a few close friends and family (we're planning on Winter 2013). I still have my heart set on a castle, but it's going to be a castle of a different sort. It may not have towering battlements; it may not have a crocodile-infested moat; it may not even have a dungeon... But I am convinced that it will have secret passageways. 

Jumping in puddles & dancing in the rain...

Okay, so after yesterday's D&M I feel I need to inject some more laughter into my blogging. Don't worry, I won't be bombarding you with more dancing llamas (mainly because I still can't get that bloody song out of my head). I think it is time to revisit my past, thus giving you some insight into why I am, well, the way I am! I will try to keep it brief, as I know that I tend to waffle, but - as always - no promises. Here goes.

"A laugh is a smile that bursts" - Mary H. Waldrip

In my blog-addicted frenzy of trying to 'pimp my page' I have accidentally deleted all of my 'comments'. FAIL.

"When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky" - Buddha

Yesterday I had an epiphany. It's not something that came to me in a flash of brilliance. It's not something that jumped out at me while trawling through facebook. It's certainly not something that was incredibly easy to swallow either. It is something that was unknowingly gifted to me by my fiancé, mid-argument.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Earth!

It is a constant source of irritation to me that relationships require effort. Surely it would be a lot easier if they just chugged along by themselves? This whole "compromise" and "train them" lark is simply (in my mind) BS.

I was a really good mum, before I had kids...

I must admit I have stolen this blog topic off another 'Kiwi Mum' blogger, but it was too good not to share. If you haven't already, you should have a look at this website. It pretty much sums up everything I feel right now. Prior to having my son I had all these grand ideas about "what sort of mum I will be". I have included below a checklist, of sorts, to give you a better idea:

I have a dream! (I also have a kick-ass plan, which is so much better than just dreaming...)

Okay, so I'm back aboard the Weight Watchers train again. As my son would say "choo-choo"... I'm not paying for meetings as I have all the books etc, so am giving myself a 2-week-trial to see if I have sufficient motivation to keep from derailing. Day 5 and so far, so good.

Quarter-Year Resolutions

I initially entitled this my 'Bucket List', however it's more a list of "things I want to accomplish by the end of 2011" so I feel the new title is more appropriate. The main reason for this post (especially so soon after my first) is because I am far more likely to do things if they are written down.

An introduction, of sorts...

Okay, here goes.

I suppose it's customary to start with a brief introduction, of sorts. I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I guess this might fluctuate from the past to present quite a bit, but I will try and keep my explanations minimal. I have a tendency to ramble so for this, I apologise in advance.