Monday, May 23, 2011

What's in a name...

Starting off on my Dating Quest (see previous post for all the details), and having been kindly directed to a "really good site" from a former colleague I was stuck. What on earth would I call myself? Initially I mulled over the use of "skymum", but thought (in the interests of the experiment) the sheer name "mum" might hamper me from carrying out my investigation fully. I then considered my derby name, but visualised being shunned from the site with a pen-name such as Betzilla. Finally I settled on: skydancer. I believe it makes me sound goddess-like (as I most certainly am) and gives me an air of mystique. That name was taken. My supreme intellect however, prevailed. I tacked an "nz" to the end, and now I am off on my journey!
As it turns out, I shouldn't have been so worried about my name. After jotting down a brief (but entirely accurate) list as per my "profile instructions", I was bombarded. I hadn't even set a profile picture, or included "what am I looking for" section. Wow. Turns out a lot of 50-year-old men do think it is socially acceptable and appropriate to target 25-year-old solo mums (yes, I did specifically say in my "ad" that I AM a mother, and he is my priority - all the honesty in the world... it's okay mum, it's and experiment!). I was offered trips on dirt bikes, online "chatting" and several poor sods couldn't even be bothered sending me an actual message. Instead they resorted to the generic "smile" you can send. I really appreciated the message attached to one smiley, from a delightful 50-year-old gentleman named Comeonova : "Is it hot around here, or is it just you?". I must admit I was inclined to reply "nope, just me buddy." but decided against entering into any kind of discussion with him. That is one path of this "experiment" I shall not be journeying down! 

For interests sake, I have compiled a list below of the first few gentlemen to approach me. I am only assuming they are actually male, trying to suppress my inner sceptic just for now. I am also wondering how many of these men are actually drones, made by the site to welcome all new members and make them feel loved? At this stage, I had still not even completed my profile or even uploaded a photo. Here goes:


and my personal favourite (name, not person)


Having been overwhelmed by response (if it's all computer generated, I don't care - experiment aside I must confess to an ego boost, regardless of incomplete profile) I took a wee tea break. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts, and escape the strange men and their emoticons. During which time I edited my profile. I wasn't glossing around the edges of anything. I have stated that I am a mum looking for friendship and nothing more. I must admit to including a photo of me skydiving as the profile picture, however - as (it turns out) guys "dig" that. I also added a note down the bottom saying:
 **If you are over 35, please don't bombard me with messages! 50year old men sending flirty messages to a 25 year old mum is creepy AND wrong!**
(for your information, that didn't do the trick... but I tried.)

I then decided to have a wee search. I saw the tab "perfect match" and happily clicked away, interested to see who the website thought I would be best suited to. Depressing, much? I'll save the spiel and just show you the screen shot. Gee Whizz.

Just look at the ages... look at them!

Needless to say I think I will give those "matches" a miss! I then had a more detailed search (after feeling awfully sad and desperate about using a dating site - regardless of experiment), where I input things such 'location', 'age'... and well that's pretty much all I am able to do, as a free member anyway. I though 'sweet, that won't narrow down the field a lot. Let's have a look!'....

TWO? Out of the thousands of members... you give me TWO? And those two as well? Good old sumfula who has clearly done the same search and as a result has already messaged me... Awesome. This experiment might not be so fun after all, because right now I'm just getting bloody depressed!

That's all for now, I will be sure to fill you in on more findings very shortly! Humf.

Over & Out.

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