Domestic Misadventure

After having a bit of success with my breadmaking effort (I'm not talking 'breadmaker-cheating' either) I figured I should get in the Easter Spirit and bake some Hot Cross Buns. This is despite the fact I still find it a strange 'celebration' to eat bread emblazoned with a sacrificial symbol, but whatever.

I was feeling pretty cocky and pleased with myself by the time came to pop the mix in the Hot Water Cupboard for the first time. Things were looking up. I chuckled to myself at the fact I had never made something so easy before. I laughed inwardly at the people who had protested their difficulty. Needless to say, I was proud. I was also premature. In my haste to get my prize buns in the oven, I decided the yeast had risen enough, so I moved to the next stage: Dividing the dough evenly & shaping it into round balls. I roughly separated it all & loosely rolled it together before popping it back in the Hot Water Cupboard. My first mistake. Instead of paying proper attention to the size of them upon insertion, I guesstimated when they were "double in size". My second mistake. Filling my piping bag with the flour/water mid, I realise I really should have made more effort to sift and stir to a smooth consistency... What brought this to my attention, you may ask? The fact the nozzle clogged several times, causing me to squeeze the bag extra hard to compensate. This, in turn, caused a major fail on the cross-front. Despite the fact it looked like crop circles on top of lumpy clods of dirt, I was still confident and popped them in the oven. Third mistake (in case you're still keeping count). Waiting the required amount of time before removing my delicacies was no easy feat. I had to "check" on my wee treasures several times (just to make sure), thus letting the majority of the heat out the oven door. Fourth you-know-what. 

Anyway, the end result was pretty much a disaster. Instead of looking anything like this, they resembled something not dissimilar to these. They were not only rock-hard (in fact a rock might even take offence to being used in comparison), but they were misshapen, lumpy and, well, terrifying! They were a brick-layers dream (despite the fact that, due to their inconsistent shape, even a brick-layer wouldn't have been able to find use for them). 

That pretty much summarises my baking abilities. Read: none. I have resigned myself to the fact I will never be a domestic goddess, despite best intentions. I will be buying our baking for the forseeable future!

Fail.

Over & Out.